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Jokes

   

Do You know What Time It Is?

Two little girls were playing together one afternoon in the park when one said, "I wonder what time it is?"

"Well, it can't be four o'clock," replied the other with magnificent logic.

"How do you know," asked the first girl.

"Because my mother said I was to be home by four o'clock and I'm not." 


  

I Can Cure That
 
A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.
 
On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good, either.
 
On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stands in the draft.
 
"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."
 
"I know," said his physician, "I can cure pneumonia." 

  

Just Like Family:

Saw a sign at a store that said, "We treat you like family."

I'm not going in there.


  

Life Insurance:

"Grandpa, why don't you have any life insurance?"

"So you can all be really sad when I die."


   

Got the table:

Ravi went to a restaurant. It was full. There was no place to sit and the wait was over thirty minutes.

Ravi took out his cell phone, placed it to my ear, and said loudly, "Hey, get over here! She's here with someone else!"

Six couples got up and quickly left. 


  

Don't Ignore the Kids:

The 12-year-old boy stood patiently beside the clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of the adult customers first. Finally he got around to the youngster, who made his purchase and hurried out to the curb, where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.

"What took you so long, son?" he asked.

"The man waited on everybody in the store before me," the boy replied. "But I got even."

"How?"

"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was waiting," the youngster explained happily. "It's going to be fun at eight o'clock."