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Welcome to the alley for Indian Chartered Accountants and other finance professionals

Jokes

   

CA: Your case is quite complicated.

Client: Why sir? What happened?

CA: You got a case from the chapter which I left as optional during my studies. 


   

Bottom of the Class

“I’m worried about you always being at the bottom of your class,” said the father to his son.

“Don’t worry Dad,” he replied. “They still teach the same thing at both ends.”   


  

Wife: "What are you doing?"

Husband: "Nothing."

Wife: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."

Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."


 

A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them...
1.Bride relatives
2.groom relatives

He entered the groom door and found two doors again.
1. Ladies
2. Men

He entered men door and found two doors again.
1.People with gifts
2.People without gifts

He entered the second door (people without gifts)... He found himself outside the hotel.


 

Son came rushing in to see his Dad. "Dad!" he puffed, "Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?"

"That's what they say," said his Dad.

"Well, give me an apple quick! I've just broken the doctor's window!"


   

A pizza and an apple were thrown down from the 15th floor, which will reach the ground first?

The pizza will, it's fast food!   


   

A bank clerk is talking with her colleague. "I think now-a-days my beauty has been decreasing."

"Why do you think that?" asked the colleague.

"The men who are withdrawing cash at my counter are actually counting their money."


 

Mom always said, "Money Doesn't Grow On Trees!"

But if money is made from paper and paper comes from trees, then isn't she wrong?


 

Q. What do you call those who fully listen to both sides of an argument?

A. Neighbours.


   

A company owner was asked a question, "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"

He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."


    

Teacher: "Whoever answers my next question, can go home."

One boy throws his bag out the window.

Teacher: "Who just threw that?"

Boy: "Me, and now I’m going home."


 

"Are you an actress, auntie?"

"No darling, why do you ask?"

"Because Daddy says whenever you come over, we have a scene."


 

What is a Pessimist?

The real world dictionary defines a 'pessimist' as an optimist with no experience.


 

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